Lupus is a chronic, auto-immune disease in which the body's immune system forms antibodies that attack healthy tissues and organs. If left untreated, lupus can be serious and even life threatening. Here I share how I am using my artwork and learning music to navigate me towards a simple goal of daily peace~

Bright Bird

Bright Bird
scroll way down to view my Hawaiian photos and don't forget to feed the fish!

Friday, April 13, 2012

a 'nother day in Kansas, life is way more different than my isle. nuf said. I want to go home. I have tried, but the longer I am here the more my health fails me. THAT is why I left Kansas in the 1st place. I am still in touch with my friends at the Lupus club in sunny Honolulu and also my family there, Al and Dean. But, it is far from living a daily life in Kansas and I long for life in Hilo and hearing the happy coqui frog.
Now I have a pup in tow. Soon she tests for her CGC ( Canine Good Citizen) and then onto her therapy dog test after a year of training. It is relentless but well worth it . Every week I see progress in my Gracie. and I have a wonderful trainer in Nan @ Puppy Love and the Jayhawk Kennel Club. The best training are the people on the streets that when I say "she is training, please ignore her"---they get it and do so. Gracie has a special trait where she offers herself to smaller breed dogs and small children by laying down with out a command, accommodating herself. Some dogs do this, others don't. Next stop is therapy dog!!! Go Gracie-pooh!  I would love to work with her with the disabled, vets and the Lupus stricken.
Back to the new crisis for me at hand. My blood pressure is up and down. I think it is my longing for my home. Or age. Or just wanting to not be here at all. Also family pressures here with an aging parent is exhausting, but I have a new handle on it thanks to the EMDR training. Too many monsters from the past. You know what I mean. I try to live in the moment as best I can. But my mother likes to stir the pot of the past. And that just doesn't work for me when Lupus is triggered by stress. When you have Lupus you want the daily world we pass through to be calm.
I have two art shows this year. So lots of prep/ framing/ painting and stress and then there is the up keep on my Tuffie Jeep. On SS Disability it is hard to find the money to keep a vehicle on the upgrade. Especially if it is also your home!
Sometimes I wish I had stayed on the isle of O'ahu and just figured it out. But life there is brutal if you have no family support system. In 2007 the islands began to fold, then 2008 the economy crushed the island way of life. So much was lost in business going under and I too lost my three jobs one by one. But I do look at the good in being here now; I am painting more and now know that I can use it for better health and donate to good causes. The only thing is there is never any money being an artist, but  that is who I am.
As for Gracie? Her job is me. She is my life line for all that matters. If you were to meet her and look into her green -gold eyes it would be very clear to you. She is such a comfort that none can bring but her own sweet self. AND she guards too! Such a deal!